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The how and why weren't so muchimportant as the results. I still felt very uncomfortable in the bodyand when Billy was in the room, I felt very self-conscious. I wasseriously beginning to doubt that I could live life in that body andfunction.I had almost ended my life a couple of times due to this situation andI knew how serious this feeling was. I promised myself that I needed togive it time first. I needed to try to cope as I was and if I couldn't,I could end it all later.Early in the evening, Tom came back by and asked if he could come inand talk to me. I still didn't want to be seen, but I decided if I wasgoing to cope I'd have to get used to it, so I let him in. The two ofus sat down on my bed in a bit of awkward silence for a few minutes."So, I hear you aren't doing so hot." Tom said after a while, soundingconcerned."Yeah." I said quietly."I always thought if you got back to normal, you would have an easiertime coping." he said, sounding more like he was thinking out loud. In the first place, they hadn’t stolen them. That would take volition. They never wanted to do me harm. They wanted to find someone for me, not to get them off a guilt trip. At least, that wasn’t all of it. The next morning none of us was prepared to go into the subject further, and certainly not while the girls were around. Me finding someone else, or someone additional, actually, was going to be hard enough on them. Stacey and Barbara had a little conflab while I was finishing the breakfast dishes. ‘We’ve decided to introduce you to some of our friends, see who you might like and who you can’t stand.’ ‘Are you matchmaking?’ ‘Sure.’ I supposed that if they were friends of the two of them, at least they were starting with someone who they, at least, would get along with, so I didn’t need to wonder about that part of the equation. I hadn’t done this before. I felt extremely uneasy and wondered if either Stacey or Barbara would let the intended victim know that all I was really looking.
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